Love Is For Everyone--Funny Love Jokes

L.I.F.E. = Love Is For Everyone 

Love is gambling, not with money but with your heart. You can always get money back, but you might not get your heart back. 

Love has 4 letters, but then again so does beer. I love strong, powerful mothers. 

They can open jars without my help. One dollar said to the other, our love does not makes cents it makes dollars. 

"Do you believe in love at first sight? How about misery after three years?" 

"Girl, this isnt a beer belly, its a fuel tank for my love machine! "Let it rain, let it pour, because you don't love me anymore." 

My love for you is like a concave function's positive first derivative, because it's always increasing. I love you with all my boobs, I would say heart, but my boobs are bigger. 

The best way to propose to a woman is to carry her on a boat, paddle the boat to the middle of the river then tell her "Marry me or get off my boat" Relationships are like fat people. Most of them don't work out. 

Love is a sensation, caused by a temptation, to feel penetration. a guy sticks his location in a girl's destination, to increase the population for the next generation, did you get my explanation, or do you need a demonstration? 

Top 11 Cute Funny Love Quotes For Him Or Her--Funny Love

Top 11 Cute Funny Love Quotes For Him Or Her

1. Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I am with you.

– Unknown

2. I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.

- Unknown

3. I didn’t want to fall in love, not at all. But at some point, you smiled, and, holy shit, I blew it.- Unknown

4. Sometimes I wonder how you put up with me. Then I remember, oh I put up with you. So we’re even.

- Unknown

5. Excuse me why are you so cute?

- Unknown

6. I love you. You annoy me more than I ever thought possible. But I want to spend every irritating minute with you.

- Unknown

7. I love you like a fat kid loves cake 

– Scott Adams

8. When I see you.

9. It wasn’t love at first sight. It took a full five minutes. 

– Lucille Ball

10. I want to be your favorite hello and your hardest goodbye. 

– Unknown

11. You’re like a dictionary, you add meaning to my life

― Shannon Dermott

Love Is Funny Strange--Funny Love Qoutes

Love Is Funny Strange

1. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."

— Woody Allen

2. "If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something."

— Fran Lebowitz 

3. "Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers."

— Richard Pryor

4. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments."

— Chris Rock

5. "My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."

— Rodney Dangerfield

6. "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself."'

— Johnny Carson

7. "My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor."

— Elayne Boosler

8. "My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning."

— Ray Romano

                                             

9. "I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early."

— Jack Benny

10. "Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand."

— Unknown

11. "Women love a self-confident bald man."

— Larry David

12. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."

— Billy Crystal

13. "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."

— Bill Maher

14. "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."

— Jackie Mason

15. "Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings."

— David Sedaris

16. "Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."

— Phyllis Diller

17. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."

— Erma Bombeck

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True Love--Funny Love

True Love

Ladka: yaar, meri gf ne mere saath break up karke apne naye BF ke saath chipak ke, apni Photo mujhe bheji.

Uska Dost- aashchary se..ohh, "phir tumane kya kiya?"

Ladka: mainne bhi usake papa ko wo photo Forward kar di.

Naitik (moral): thoda alag socho.

Girlfriend: aaj se hamaara rishta khatm, ham ek dusare ko saare Gifts vaapas karate hain.

Papu: theek hai,Mobile Recharge se shuroo karate hain.

GF: jaanu, ab mazaak bhi nahin kar sakti kya?

You can hug it when you're in trouble

You can cry on it when you're in pain

You can embrace it when you're happy

So when you need true love

Buy a pillow

Math is like love; a simple idea, but it can get complicated.

True love is like ghosts, which everybody talks about and few have seen.

Way to impress girl: Respect her, honor her, love her, protect her, care 4 her, obey her, sacrifice 4 her.

How to impress a boy? Just smile once ..

Life ka sucessful Moral:

"Pyar woh nahin ke hum ek ko kitne saal taq karte hai."

"Pyar toh woh hai ke hum ek saal mein kitno se karte hai?"

Fence Of Love--Funny Love

FENCE OF LOVE

A couple celebrates their 30th anniversary by visiting fence against which they first made love.

The husband says, "Come on, for old times' sake." The wife agrees and they both undress.

Afterwards, the husband says, "You're even better than you were 30 years ago."

His wife replies, "That fence wasn't electrified 30 years ago!"

Anonymous Author--Funny Love

                                                         Anonymous Author

Girls are like phones. We love to be held and talked to, but if you press the wrong button you'll be disconnected! 

Anonymous

They say that love is more important than money, but have you ever tried to pay your bills with a hug? 

Anonymous

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again? 

Anonymous

Why cry for someone when you can laugh next to someone else? 

Anonymous

We all have baggage, find someone who loves you enough to help you unpack. 

Anonymous

You wanna know who I'm in love with? Read the first word again. 

Anonymous

He grabbed her hand and held it tightly, and she thought, "he loves me!" And he thought, "wow this sidewalk is icy!" 

Anonymous

Funny Love Poems for Teenagers and Adults--Funny Love

Funny Love Poems for Teenagers and Adults

There is a line from a country song that goes, 

"sometimes life's greatest gifts are unanswered prayers". 

It describes a man who sees his high school sweetheart at a high school reunion. 

He realizes how wrong they would have been for each other and how blessed he is to have the partner that he has. 

Many of us have similar stories. 

Many times we are lucky enough to end up not with the person that we thought was our soul mate but the person who is really meant for us.

Wardrobe Jokes--Funny Love

Wardrobe Jokes

Let's read Funny Jokes About Money about Funny Love Jokes For Her, Love Fun

A woman and her lover are in the house while the husband is at work. Her nine year old son comes in, and after seeing them making love he hides in the wardrobe and watches them. All of a sudden the husband comes. Wife hides her lover in the wardrobe, without knowing that her son is in there. Boy:

- It's dark here.

- Yes it is.

- I've got a soccer ball.

- That's nice.

- Do you want to buy it?

- No, thanks.

- My dad is outside.

- Ok, how much?

- 250 dollars.

After a few weeks man and boy run into each other again in the wardrobe. Boy:

- It's dark here.

- Yes it is. 

- I've got a soccer cleats.

Remembering what happened last time, man asks:

- How much?

- 750 dollars.

- Ok.

After few days, father says to his son:

- Lets go and play soccer.

- I can't, I sold the ball and the cleats.

- How much did you get?

- 1000 dollars.

- That is terrible, how could you ask so much money.... that's much more than they are worth. That's a sin, so you should go to the church and confess.

Father takes his son to the church confessional. Boy gets in, closes the door and says:

- It's dark here.

Priest:

- Don't start with that shit again!!!