Love Is Funny Strange
1. "Love is the answer, but while you're waiting for the answer, sex raises some pretty good questions."
— Woody Allen
2. "If you can stay in love for more than two years, you're on something."
— Fran Lebowitz
3. "Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings and lawyers."
— Richard Pryor
4. "There are only three things women need in life: food, water, and compliments."
— Chris Rock
5. "My wife was afraid of the dark... then she saw me naked and now she's afraid of the light."
— Rodney Dangerfield
6. "I know a man who gave up smoking, drinking, sex, and rich food. He was healthy right up to the time he killed himself."'
— Johnny Carson
7. "My brother is gay and my parents don’t care, as long as he marries a doctor."
— Elayne Boosler
8. "My wife gets all the money I make. I just get an apple and clean clothes every morning."
— Ray Romano
9. "I went to a meeting for premature ejaculators. I left early."
— Jack Benny
10. "Love is grand; divorce is a hundred grand."
— Unknown
11. "Women love a self-confident bald man."
— Larry David
12. "Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place."
— Billy Crystal
13. "Women cannot complain about men anymore until they start getting better taste in them."
— Bill Maher
14. "Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in Europe."
— Jackie Mason
15. "Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you're offered the perfect opportunity to hurt someone's feelings."
— David Sedaris
16. "Marry a man your own age; as your beauty fades, so will his eyesight."
— Phyllis Diller
17. "Marriage has no guarantees. If that's what you're looking for, go live with a car battery."
— Erma Bombeck
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