Camel Jokes Funny

Camel Jokes

Q: Why are camels called ships of the desert? 

A: Because they are filled with Arab semen! 

Q: What do you call a camel without a hump? 

A: Humphrey (Hump-free). 

Q: Did you hear about the camel who was accused of stock fraud? 

A: He took part in a hump and dump scheme. 

Q: Why did the Taliban school alternate Sex Education classes with Drivers Ed.? 

A: They only had one camel. 

Q. What do you call a Taliban who owns six camels? 

A. A pimp! 

Q: How do you have sex with a camel? 

A: One hump at a time. 

Q: What do camels use to hide themselves? 

A: Camelflauge! 

Q. What weekday is a Camel always looking forward to? 

A. Wednesday (Hump Day) 

Q: What do you call 144 camels in a box? 

A: Gross! 

Q: What is a camels favorite nursery rhyme? 

A: Humpty Dumpty 

See more: Short joke of the day

Diet Jokes Funny

Diet Jokes

Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef? 

He'll dessert you. 

Did you hear about the hungry clock? 

He went back four seconds. 

What is a man's idea of a balanced diet? 

A beer in each hand. 

Have you seen the movie about the Atkins diet? 

Dude, Where's My Carbs? 

What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet? 

A desserter. 

When should you go on a cheese diet? 

If you need to cheddar a few pounds. 

Why should you go to the paint store if your on a diet? 

You can get thinner there. 

How do most people curb their appetite? 

At the drive thru window. 

What should you never put in an ice cream sundae? 

A Spoon. 

What do you call a fascist vegan? 

Lactose intolerant. 

What do vegan zombies eat? 

GgggggRrrAaaaIiiiNNnnnSSsss! 

Why do vegetarians give good head? 

Because they are used to eating nuts! 

What do you call the king of vegetables?

Elvis Parsley. 

What does a bulimic have for dessert? 

Two fingers. 

How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow? 

One if nobody's looking. 

Why are most horses in shape?

Because they are on a stable diet. 

How do you know your low fat diet is working? 

The fat hangs lower every day. 

What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea? 

A Salad Shooter 

See more: Daily jokes

The Best Grandma Jokes Funny

The Best Grandma Jokes Funny

Good jokes to tell

Q: Why do Grandmas smile all the time?

 A: Because they can't hear a word you're saying! 

Q: When is your grandmas bedtime? 

A: Three hours after she falls asleep on the couch. 

Q: Why do grandmas count pennies? 

A: They are the only ones who have the time. 

Q: When do you know your grandma is old enough to retire? 

A: Instead of lying about her age she start bragging about it! 

Q: What's that wrinkly thing on Grandma? 

A: Grandpa. 

Q: Why did gramma put wheels on her rocking chair? 

A: She wanted to rock and roll! 

Q: What do you call having your grandma on speed dial? 

A: Instagram. 

Q: How did grandma get more money from her bank? 

A: With a deposit slip and fall. 

Q: What's the worst part about being grandpa? 

A: You have to sleep with grandma. 

Q: What does your grandma's pussy taste like? 

A: Depends. 

Married Man Joke Funny

Married Man Joke Funny

Funny adult jokes

A married man and his secretary were having torrid affair. 

One afternoon they couldn't contain their passion, so they rushed over to her place where they spent the afternoon making passionate love. 

When they were finished, they fell asleep, not waking until 8 o'clock. 

They got dressed quickly. 

Then the man told his secretary to take his shoes outside and rub them on the lawn. 

Bewildered, she did as he asked thinking him pretty weird. 

The man finally got home and his wife met him at the door. Upset, she asked where he'd been. 

The man replied, "I cannot tell a lie. My secretary and I are having an affair. Today we left work early, went to her place, spent the afternoon making love, and then fell asleep. That's why I'm late." 

The wife looked at him, took notice of his shoes and yelled, "I can see those are grass stains on your shoes. 

YOU DAMN LIAR! You've been playing golf again, haven't you?" 

Marijuana Jokes Funny

Marijuana Jokes Funny

Funny jokes for adults

Q: What is a stoners idea of a balanced diet? 

A: A joint in each hand! 

Q: What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed? 

A: Han So-high 

Q: Why don't you see any pot heads in elementary school? 

A: Because they're all in HIGH school 

Q: What do you call an apple pie getting high in Mcdonalds? 

A: A baked apple pie. 

Q: What did the stoners girlfriend say? 

A: If I can't marry a dude, i'll Mary Jane 

Q: What do you call money that grows on trees? 

A: Marijuana 

Q: What do get when you soak a spliff in Vodka? 

A: The Holy Spirit! 

Q: What do you call a potato that smokes weed? 

A: A baked potato. 

Q: What is the difference between a drunk and a stoner at a stop sign?  

A: The drunk guy runs it and the stoner waits for it to turn green! 

Q: What do you call a stoner when horny? 

A: A weed wacker! 

Q: What do you call a bunch of mexican stoners? 

A: Baked Beans. 

Q: How do you get a one-armed stoner out of a tree? 

A: Wave. 

Q: What did the frog say after lighting up? 

A: Don't Worry be Hoppy? 

Q: What do you get when you eat marijuana ? 

A: A pot belly 

Q: What do you call a stoner spilling his weed on the floor? 

A: Drug Abuse. 

Q: How do you know when you have smoked enough pot ? 

A: When you start looking around for the directions on how to use the lighter. 

Q: How do you know your a pothead? 

A: You studied five days for a urine test? 

Q: What do you call a pothead that doesn't inhale?  

A: Mr. President.  

Q: What do you do if you see a space man while getting high? 

A: Park in it dude