Diet Jokes
Why shouldn't you fall in love with a pastry chef?
He'll dessert you.
Did you hear about the hungry clock?
He went back four seconds.
What is a man's idea of a balanced diet?
A beer in each hand.
Have you seen the movie about the Atkins diet?
Dude, Where's My Carbs?
What do you call someone who can't stick with a diet?
A desserter.
When should you go on a cheese diet?
If you need to cheddar a few pounds.
Why should you go to the paint store if your on a diet?
You can get thinner there.
How do most people curb their appetite?
At the drive thru window.
What should you never put in an ice cream sundae?
A Spoon.
What do you call a fascist vegan?
Lactose intolerant.
What do vegan zombies eat?
GgggggRrrAaaaIiiiNNnnnSSsss!
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they are used to eating nuts!
What do you call the king of vegetables?
Elvis Parsley.
What does a bulimic have for dessert?
Two fingers.
How many vegetarians does it take to eat a cow?
One if nobody's looking.
Why are most horses in shape?
Because they are on a stable diet.
How do you know your low fat diet is working?
The fat hangs lower every day.
What do you call a Vegetarian with diarrhea?
A Salad Shooter
See more: Daily jokes
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